How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Vote on your favorite funny long jokes. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree? A turtle and the snails. A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. A long series of jokes No Comments. ", "That's a great idea!" New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says : "Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me. There is proof in meditation – so many practitioners across the world have experienced blissful love through meditation. The poor man asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. This undercoat is shed when temperatures climb in the spring. For those who appreciate a little dark humor, we’ve compiled a list of inappropriate and dirty jokes majorly dripping in shock-value. SpongeBob SquarePants, the long-running Nickelodeon cartoon that spawned a massive franchise, has its share of jokes that have spanned the length of the series. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. For a show that's supposed to be so depressing, the jokes about it sure aren't. He says to the pope "Hold on for a minute," and goes back to his car to radio the chief. this (except for the brick part) is a classic joke in my country. So read on to revisit The Office: 20 Insanely Long Running Jokes. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. List RulesEveryone: vote up the funniest joke! So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. If every one liner is 20 seconds, you are gonna need 90 jokes to fill a half hour. Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door. The poor man thinks about it for a second and replies, "A pair of slippers and a dildo.". However, in this lab, we don’t; in here, we have the right to bare arms. He made it out, but a single person died. Open door, put elephant in, close door. Relax, we've got your back. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed. Here are 60 funny, clever, and oh-so-smart one-liners that are perfect for any occasion. ", The driver agrees: "You're right. How many are left? A governor or something? Patience is a virtue, especially when you're waiting for the punchline of a good joke. 1 falls off. How can you tell there's an elephant in the fridge? 503 bricks are on a plane. The poor man astutely reponds, "This way, if she doesn't like the slippers she can go f*ck herself. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. Also I always heard that the second koala was tied to the first. The poor man thinks about it for a second and replies, "A pair of slippers and a dildo." How can you tell there are 2 elephants in the fridge? Why does sally live at home with aligators? The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. Clean jokes are preferred, and nothing involving dead babies or … [mockingly] Oh haha very clev--[bricky thud sound]. 1 falls off. says Einstein. More details.. He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn't driven a car since becoming the pope. Joke: Once there was a young boy, around 8 years old, who lived in a village at the bottom of a hill.On top of the hill was a temple where monks lived. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. Google has many special features to help you find exactly what you're looking for. Every now and then in life, you'll come across someone who feels the need to make you wait a few minutes until they get to the punchline. The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." ", Chief: "How important? Funny dad jokes will break the ice at any party or social event. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 License. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m.. Central to Yoga is a belief that at the core of all human beings is love, there is bliss. But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. The user would drop a weighted end of a long, Google-supplied fiber-optic cable in their toilet and flush it. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. 100 of the funniest short jokes and one-liners Since the show's story line has moved beyond author George R.R. The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." She uses the program herself and has been growing like crazy! For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. Kids couldn't understand why any Simpsons jokes weren't appropriate for them. Open door, put elephant in, close door. Make Bing your homepage. The funniest sub on reddit. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wide. NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response. How many are left? 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners. ", The poor man asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. These 101 funny quotes from comedians, movies, authors, and TV look at the hilarious side of life. Enjoy these funny quotes, a laugh and share with a friend. Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. Never miss a moment and keep search at your fingertips. How many are left? Thursday Night—Potluck Dinner. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. Jean will be leaning a weight management series Wednesday nights. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas. The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them. A long series of jokes. Most of the time, it's worth it. 503 bricks are on a plane. The long shaggy hair of the muskox covers a second, shorter undercoat called qiviut that provides additional insulation in winter. I've pulled over an important figure. The captain continued 'as you know my divorce was finalised last week so I'll be taking a long soak in the bath before ordering dinner in my room. There are two sets of elephant tracks in the butter. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire" series, we find ourselves in uncharted territory.Which of the feisty families will ascend to the Iron Throne? Better Question: Why is this considered a Joke? Commit them to memory, and you'll have your friends laughing so hard they won't even remember why the conversation had lagged in … Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. The executioner was speechless. Google frequently inserts jokes and hoaxes into its products on April Fools' Day, which takes ... (2 Mbit/s upload) (or up to 32 Mbit/s with a paid plan). While many of the best jokes are punchy one-liners, others have gone on and on for seasons. Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door. Clarkson, Hammond and May: A Long History of Sausage Jokes by Meg Honeck December 26, 2016, 10:58 pm If you were paying any attention at all during this week’s Christmas-themed episode of The Grand Tour, you couldn’t have missed the P 1 McLaren, E Type Jaguar, NIS san GT-R joke. ", Chief: "So, what? The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them." But dinosaurs have long been the focus of humor, including a bevy of jokes at the expense of these long-gone beasts, which roamed the earth millions of years ago. This came up during a long car ride the other day and it would be great to have more of them for future car rides. Cop: "Chief we have a situation. After all, SpongeBob and the rest of his sinful pals are constantly getting into strange … They’re so bad that people can’t help but laugh. A woman (mom) was sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail after work one night, when the bar door opened and the most gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever seen entered. Curious, he walks up the hill and knocks on the giant doors at the front of the temple. Press J to jump to the feed. So with that, and the tortilla I had for lunch, it is time to wrap up this series with some of my favorite stories, jokes, and images to brighten up your classroom. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. That's pretty surprising! February 27, 2015. 15 ‘Series Of Unfortunate Events’ Memes That Made Us Feel Joy For The First Time In A Long Time. Here are some hilarious, bad jokes to use the next time you want to make more friends. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now." I always say the same things over and over! HBO has been warning us that "winter is coming" for a long time and finally the day has come! "You know what? 503 bricks are on a plane. I'm just a bad conductor.". Please use the large double doors at the side entrance. All the animals are there, except one. Evan Lambert. Some Chemistry labs will require long-sleeved shirts. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. He loved his job. They’re so bad that people can’t help but laugh. ", The poor man asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" How can you tell there are 5 elephants in the fridge? After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. EDIT: Dang, over 300 points? A Life Without Love is Just a Long Series of Jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. Category archive for Long Jokes. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air - but nothing happened.